i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
