Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
