you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
