No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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