if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
