doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
