I'm going to rape someone's good day.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
