this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
