We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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