so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Randomize
