i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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