is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
only if we run a train.
done.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
