He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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