So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
