It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
