I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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