To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i barfeds in our rink
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
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