I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
did you just send me my own nude
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
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