can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
