Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
