At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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