hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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