so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
