He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
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