I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
