he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
