Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
