a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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