My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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