why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
