Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
