Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
