Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
