Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
