the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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