I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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