Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
