If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
