cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
