You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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