they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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