Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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