Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
