Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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