C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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