OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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