No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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