I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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