Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
