I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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