You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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