jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Come share oat with me in your robe
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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